Roady RV Dog

 ”NO…I’m not Woofing!” Says Roady, the RV Dog.

“Did you really SAVE a lot of money when now……your gonna have to replace  some major appliances?  Well, I tell you ….Don’t replace them, fix them yourself and I’m not just woofing.”

“You can get my Professor, TERRY COOPER, who is a Master Certified Technician, to stand beside you to trouble shoot  with you… by taking you step-by-step through the getting it right process. It’s like having a Master Certified Technician looking over your shoulder…getting ‘er done.”

“Yep…it’s true.  My Professor has been working hard to put together some super DVDs on 4 major appliances. These DVDs cover all the trouble shooting techniques, repairs and he has a few tricks up his sleeve so you can give new life to your unit’s appliances. Here’s the names of each DVD:  1) Water Heaters  2) Furnaces  3)Air/Conditioners   4) Refrigerators.”

“I’ll take some of the credit because I worked hard too…laying at my Professor’s feet as he guided Ken Greening on trouble shooting his newly acquired auction FEMA trailer.  You will find that these DVD’s are just what YOU need to get your tail waggin … once again.”

“So, this is all you have to do. Click on the link below and it will take you right to the Professor’s store where he has lots of DVD’s to choose from.  Look for the ones that has FEMA on them. You might need just one…or all 4 but whatever you do…don’t wait. The Professor will get your tail wagging again, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, by the way…the Professor has a video right here on this page for you to listen to…which gives you more information about these DVDs. Go ahead! Take a look.”

Here’s your link: http://www.shop.everythingrvtv.com/RV-Maintenance-Educational-DVDS-DIY-Repair_c4.htm

“Remember: This is….Roady the RV Dog.  We’ll see you on down the highway!”

Tails From the Highway!

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I just haven’t been myself lately.  Once I heard from my good friend, Chuck, I wanted to share the exchange.

He wrote:

Roady,

Something weird is happening.  Sometimes when Harold and I are pulling our travel trailer, there’s this horrible screeching and screaming noise that comes from behind the truck.  It seems to be cyclical and it seems to be worse when we slow down.  Harold doesn’t really seem to notice, but I promise you it’s there!  What’s going on?

                                                                                       Chuck

“Chuck,” I replied. “There are two possible explanations for your problem.

The first is your trailer brakes are sticking. This is the least likely explanation, but I’m obligated to mention it because the Texas RV Professor thinks that’s the problem and talks about it in his Webinars and his Did You Know Tech Tips at the MobileRVAcademy.com.

The second, and most likely, explanation is you have a chicken infestation in your trailer.  I know what you’re thinking. You’re asking yourself how I could know this so quickly. 

Let me tell you about what happened to me recently …

One evening not too long ago, the Professor and I went to visit the professor’s brother, Pete, on his farm.  After I sat around in the living room with the humans for a while, I got bored and hungry.  So I went to the pantry and had a snack of cookies and chips. I really wanted some cheese doodles and I looked everywhere, but there weren’t any, not even on the top shelf (that’s where the Professor usually puts them).  After four or five minutes of searching, I gave up and made a nice bed out of some rolls of paper towels.  I grabbed a can of soda from the pile on the floor and was quietly licking the leaks from the bite marks when Pete yanked the door open.  He immediately started having a fit! He was pointing and yelling for the Professor, shouting something incoherent about his wife and when she got home.

I have to say right here I had no idea she wouldn’t want me sleeping in the pantry (it must be some sort of rural custom).  I always try to be a good houseguest, so if I’d known she was so particular about her personal space, I certainly wouldn’t have encroached.

Needless to say, the Professor and I were both very embarrassed.  I went to the back door and offered to go outside, thinking it might defuse the situation somewhat if I got as far away from her pantry as possible. The Professor opened the door (oh, for opposable thumbs!), and I crept off into the night in disgrace.

It seemed prudent to go to a small building just outside the yard. The door was kind of small, about Pekinese-sized, but I managed to squeeze through. It was quiet and dark, which was a relief after all the commotion in the house. I stood inside the door for a moment, just catching my breath and letting my eyes adjust to the dark.

I hadn’t been inside more than five seconds when I heard a strange noise. A squawky kind of “brrrr-auck” sound.  Then it happened again.  It was closer! That crazy noise sounded again, but now to my side! There were two of them, maybe more! I still couldn’t see very well, but I could discern a shadowy movement coming at me. It wasn’t very large, but it was coming fast and the noise it gave was horrifying… a long screech of indignation and fury!

Suddenly, the sides of the shadow exploded outwards and the beast tripled in size! It was almost upon me and I could only tuck, duck, and roll as it launched itself at my face!  Immediately, another attacked from the side. Then another!

What had seemed like a safe haven only seconds before had suddenly become a den of terror.  All I could do was hunker down while being flayed by talons and beaks.

All the while the ear-splitting screeching and squalling continued, compounding my disorientation. I wasn’t able to defend myself, and truthfully, I don’t know what defense would have been possible. The attacks were relentless. I would detect movement and a split second later one of the creatures would attack. I was flogged, first from one direction and then the other. As soon as a beast seemed to tire in its abuses, another would rally from the other side, or the rear, or even from above (yes, they appeared to be able to fly or leap!).  Sometimes it seemed as if eight or ten of them were upon me simultaneously. It was terrifying.

It’s hard to know exactly how long it lasted, but I do know eventually they seemed to tire.  I tried to stand, thoughts of escape whirling in my brain as I staggered toward the door.  But my way was blocked, and the attack began again immediately, with more ferocity.  I knew then I was lost.

To make a long story short, I spent the entire night with those fiends looming over me.  At one point, one of the larger ones jumped up onto my back.  I twitched under the grip of its claws biting into my shoulder blades and gasped as I felt it settle down into sleep, confident in its status as conqueror.

It was a long night. I tremble just thinking about those endless hours in the darkness, hearing the Professor calling my name over and over, wanting desperately to run to him and the safety he offered, but knowing I was held captive by those foul specters of the night.

At long last, daylight broke. The creatures became restless and began moving about.  I was afraid the attacks were about to begin again as the monster on my back rose to his feet, stretched, and issued an ear-splitting crow of triumph. Amazingly, upon his signal, they rose as one and trooped from the building, exiting with contented clucks and murmurs.

As soon as the last of them was gone, I poked my head out the door. They were meandering off through the tall grass, no doubt to hunt for fresh meat. 

I wouldn’t have known what the beasts were if the Professor hadn’t said I smelled of ‘chickens’ when he was giving me a bath later that morning. I’ve been trying not to think about the incident, but I believe it’s vital the truth come out about chickens…  So thank you for writing, Chuck.  It’s been healing for me to talk about this.

As you can see, it’s important you do something about this chicken problem. NOW.  Find a trained professional to handle the problem. Do not delay!

I’m sending you a six-pack bottle of Roady’s Toilet Water in case your mouth is dry after hearing my story. It’s not blue and is best served in the safe confines of your coach after the exterminator has been by.

This is Roady saying goodbye for now. Keep your wheels rolling, and those letters and photos coming!

Workamper New University and Mobile RV Academy have scheduled the start of the new 10-Month RV Maintenance Program, the Gold Star Club,  February4th through November 30th, 2010.

The program gives all RV Enthusiast an opportunity to becoming educated in a vast array of RV maintenance topics that will give everyone the edge they need to be successful while perusing the workamping dream.  If you are currently a full-timer or dreaming of becoming one then who better to invest your money in… than yourself! 

 Master Certified RV Technician, Terry Cooper – owner and instructor of Mobile RV Academy tells us that 80% of our RV Maintenance issues can be resolved ourselves.  So because of that fact, he has design a maintenance program for the average RV consumer. Want to know more? Click here.

 Here is a list of the RV Maintenance course available to take online at your convenience during this 10-Month Gold Star Club.

• Propane System
• Absorption Type Refrigerators
• Exterior Inspections & Repairs
• RV Furnace
• Servicing Your Air Conditioner
• Water Heaters
• Water Systems
• Electrical Systems

           There are also two extensive courses on ‘How to make Dollar$ on the road’….to help with a new career or just to supplement your current income.

• Becoming a RV Inspector
• Becoming a Certified RV Walk-Through Technician

All courses were developed and recorded in 2009 with live attendees.  Now they sit in a library waiting for you to access with handouts, post test & homework.   Everything needed to be successful in learning how to ‘do-it-yourself’ when it comes to RV maintenance is right there at your fingertips.   The cost of the program is 50% less than in 2009.  What a value!

 If you didn’t have the opportunity to be with Terry Cooper at the Free Tele-class back on January 7^th, it was recorded and is available to watch/listen.  You can read more about the program also.      

As a bonus there are 20 live events scheduled in 2010 on ‘How to make your RV experience one you will love’.  If you should miss any of these events, the recordings will be placed in the library alongside the maintenance courses to be accessed at your convince. All of this at no extra cost.  (The 1st event “Buying & Selling it Right” is recorded and placed into the library. You don’t want to join the club? The event can be purchased separately.)

Make your 2010 the best that it can be.  Investing in education is…Investing in Yourself!

Terry Cooper – America’s RV Expert

 Roady the RV Dog here.  I just got an interesting voice-mail. Delivered in a suave, Latin voice, the message was:

Tails From the Highway!

 Ah em sending you a photo-grrraph so that you can see forrr yourrr-self the terrrr-able situation that I am en.  Mi wife will not speak with me until I ave corrr-ected this prrroblem.  I will bee forrr-everrr en yourrr debt if you caan elp me.  With deepeeest rrre-garrd, I am, Don Recarrrdo En-rrrique Juan Errrnesto Montobone”

 An e-mail arrived soon after.  The attached photograph showed an RV toilet with a gentle haze of smoke surrounding it.  A silvery, standard-sized poodle stood stoically nearby. His counterpart (a beautiful black-eyed vixen whose a raven coat looked like velvet) was peering over his shoulder cautiously, obviously frightened by the phenomenon.

 Senor and Senora Montobone, while I have not personally seen this happen, I have heard of such occurrences.  As I explain, please prepare yourself; I may have to be a bit… indelicate.

 Ricardo, in your voice-mail, you said that you are vacationing in South Florida.  I’d bet with your accent that you are snow-birding from the far north (someplace like Minnesota), and have only recently arrived. 

 When you got to Florida, your humans were probably anxious to try out dishes like “red-hot calamari” or “crispy fried mahi mahi strips”.  I am certain that they also enjoyed some of the local delicacies like Ropa Vieja with sofrito, tamales, or picadilloe. While these foods are not especially spicy for the natives, they are often rich enough to set fire to a neophyte tummy from Minnesota.  (It’s only natural to want to sample the culinary bounty of exotic lands. I admit that I am often tempted at rest-stop dumpsters as The Professor travels with me, and I have paid a fearsome price on more than one occasion.)

 How do I say this delicately? 

 We all know that these foreign spices are just as hot leaving as they were when they were eaten… So while you may believe that it is the toilet that is smoking; it is in fact your humans who are suffering this indignity.  You are witnessing the residual effects of their gastronomical mishaps.  Remember that humans are modest creatures by nature.

 They are known to go hide in the area that contains the toilet during their smoke dispersion episodes.  Look around.  Are the walls scorched?  Do you see suspicious holes burned through their clothing? Have you heard noises of pain and discomfort coming from your human? Have you noticed your humans suddenly springing to their feet and hurling themselves toward the toilet area? 

 The thing is, it isn’t smoke and mirrors, it’s just smoke.  And the question is; what can you do about it? I recommend that you take your humans for frequent, long walks.  Exercise seems to help speed up the digestive process.  I know it may be difficult to keep your humans moving, but if you are diligent, you can walk them through this smoke dispersion problem in 2 or 3 days.

 On your walks, you might also consider what the Professor had to say about this problem when we discussed it this morning as I was taking him for his walk. While I do not believe this is your problem I still try to humor him and let him think this RVing lifestyle is for his benefit and pleasure.

 The Professor was wondering since your RV is new if anyone had checked to see if the toilet plumbing had been hooked up correctly. He said that he had seen this situation happen before when someone in the factory had hooked up the hot water line to the inlet of the toilet. So every time the toilet was flushed the hot water came out of the toilet and flowed into the toilet bowl.

 The Professor says while it does feel good to sit on a warm toilet, it is a very inefficient and is an expensive feature to have. Not sure why anyone would want to sit on that thing but you know humans.

 Senor Montobone, I enjoy taking the Professor on his walks as he amuses me and I really try to be understanding to his “Professor World” way of thinking.

 I wonder if you could humor The Professor and display your courage to Senora Montobone and drink from the smoking toilet? 

 You must wait until your human has had their smoke dispersion episode, at which time you must leap into that little room and drink from the smoking toilet to sample the condition of the water. If the water is cold you will know that the spicy cuisine has been the source of the smoke. If the water is hot….well, maybe the Professor might correct and the hot water line has been hooked up to the toilet. 

 As a way to toast your courage and to rinse the smoking toilet water from your mouth we are sending you a 6-pack of Roady’s Toilet Water-It ain’t Blue with easy to remove cap.  Yes, Senor your courage is a sight to be admired and this is one of those special moments that only comes along once or twice in a dog year that you can lift your paw and drink to…Savor and enjoy this moment of victory. Besides the Roady’s Toilet Water – It ain’t Blue with easy to remove cap should go well with lutefisk or head cheese.

 This is Roady the RV Dog saying goodbye for now and Senor Montobone, don’t let the smoke get in your eyes.

 Keep your wheels rolling, and those letters and photos coming!

Looking for the Professor’s Winterizing & Storing Your RV?  Check out ‘DID YOU KNOW? – Facts From the Professor

Tails From the Highway!

Did you ever know someone who just seems to have bad luck?  My friend Rooster is like that.  Through no fault of his own, stuff just happens to him.  I’d guess that Rooster is mostly Pug or Pekinese, but I’m not really sure.

He has a short nose on a slightly over-sized head and his hair is kind of longish and tan colored.  Before he sniffed the fire ants he had a beard and mustache that gave him a peculiar kind of ‘schnauzer with an under-bite’ look.  But when his facial hair grew back, it was mostly stubbly and stuck out in all directions, especially his eyebrows.  It makes him look surprised all the time, even when he’s asleep.

After the Smores incident, he grew an odd crest of wispy hair that sort of floats on top of his head like he’s wearing a gray Robin Hood hat. With his bow-legged stance, he has a stout, chesty look counter-balanced by an oddly long tail.

His tail used to arch up happily over his back, but there was an unfortunate mishap with an automatic door at the grocery store.  Now it has a crook in it that makes it curl sideways.

The thing is, he’s a nice guy but you hate to hang around with him too much because you can get caught in the cross fire of his weird karma.  Take this Fourth of July for instance.

Rooster and I were napping while the humans were cooking burgers on the grill out by the lake.  It was just getting dark and I was thinking about strolling by one of the smaller humans to see what was falling off his plate.

I got to my feet and was having a big stretch.  Suddenly, the entire sky EXPLODED!  My first instinct was to run for the Professor and crouch down behind him.  Rooster’s was to bark at the sky.

The cacophony of his howling and growling combined with the crashes and booms and flashing lights overhead was almost too much to bear.  I could feel my hair standing on end.  For a moment, I considered trying to make a run for it.

The Professor managed to get both Rooster and myself safely into Rooster’s Fifth Wheel before I had a nervous breakdown. The quiet seemed to do Rooster some good too, because after we got inside he quit screaming and just gave an occasional “Urf” when the explosions outside were especially loud.

That’s when things started to really get bizarre…

The lights in the RV suddenly begin to get dimmer.  I looked at Rooster and he looked at me.  He tried for an ‘urf” but it seemed to stick in his throat and came out sounding more like a cough.  When the lights got to the level about like the candles on The Professor’s birthday cake, they hovered there.  I braced myself for total darkness and moved closer to Rooster.

The lights brightened.  I took a deep breath and glanced over at Rooster.  He looked surprised, but it could have just been his eyebrows sticking out.

We stood there for a minute, staring at each other.  I took a step toward the sofa. The lights dimmed.  I stopped in mid stride with one paw raised.  Held it in the air for what seemed like forever.  I could see Rooster’s Robin Hood cap tremble.

“Do it again”, he whispered.

I put my paw down and the lights came back up.

“How’d you do that?”

“The light thing?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know.” I finally got my nerve up and took another step toward the sofa.  The lights dimmed as if on command.

“Turn them back on,” he begged, his gray hat twitching convulsively.  I made two quick steps.  Nothing happened.

“Roady!”

“I’m trying.”  I had to jog in a circle before the lights brightened.  “There, that’s better.  Are you happy now?”

“You’re creeping me out.  Stand still.”

“I can’t very well just stand here forever.”

“You could try.” His tail thumped against his side hopefully.

I did try, but as soon as I got tired and shifted my weight, the lights would respond.  Sometimes all I had to do was think about moving.

When The Professor finally came to get me I almost hated to leave Rooster, but my muscles were cramping up and I jumped ship like the proverbial rat.

I haven’t had any lighting incidents since then, but I haven’t been back to Rooster’s RV either.  There aren’t enough dog bones in Texas to make me.

Being the kind of fellow that he is, The Professor went over the next morning to “look at an electrical problem” and this is what he found.

The Professor came back and said that he found a bad battery and the RV power converter was trying to make up for the lack of battery power. He said something about the when the converter would kick in and try to charge the battery, the lights would go bright and when the converter would drop out the lights would do dim.

Personally I still think this light dimming and going bright again was just Roosters bad karma and I don’t think I want to have anything to do with it.

Before the Professor left Rooster and his human he gave them the MobileRVAcademy.com web address for them to sign up for the new Webinars that the Professor is going to be doing over the next few months. He said this should help them learn how to maintain Roosters 5^th wheel so they could do a lot of the work themselves.

Well as the Professor and I like to tell everyone. “It is our job to help keep your wheels rolling ….so we can see You on down the highway”.

Author:  Roady the RV Dog